Score: 7

"Great title.... great concept... [707]"

submission: OmgLasersPewPew

date: April 18, 2008

Execution... needs more.... something. I mean... come on, lasers going pewpew is.... crack for us flash gameplayers. You had us with that. You had us... BIGTIME. #;-}>

First of all... it'd be nice if when you disabled most of the right-click menu features, if you'd at least left the quality options there. Yes, you put a quality toggle in the game, but when I tried to use it once the gameplay had begun.... even though the quality reduced, the game lagged up, and when I clicked there was still the "pewpew" sounds... but no lasers visually... and indeed, the enemies got to my laser, despite the fact that had the "pewpew" really meant lasershootingness... they'd have been dead. Not to mention that quality toggles NEVER work as well as being able to see which quality you're selecting in a right click menu. That's my #1 beef with flash game makerers... when they take away our rightclick quality options. ;_;

In short, lowering the quality to speed up the game mid-gameplay... ended up killing me and lagging everything to hell. That makes zero sense, man.

And before you ask, no, while not super-fast, the gameplay hadn't been lagging before I tried to lower quality, my lasers had been operating normally and killing enemies (only about 10 or so... but still). Oh well. Kinda marrs what coulda been a great lasery experience. On my next playthrough, I made sure to hit the quality toggle right away... and I did manage to get it down to low and start shooting enemies before any of them reached me... successfully this time.... but when they started crowding me about 10 enemies on screen (after I'd killed 50+), this one big bubble of lag happened, and when the lag stopped, I was already dead. ;_;

Surely you could code this to not be so... laggy. Please? From your comments to others, it sounds like #2 will have a new engine. I'll have my fingers crossed, but please consider leaving the quality options in the right click menu?

Score: 8

"Fairly fun frisbee...ing [706]"

submission: Frisbee Fro

date: April 18, 2008

I helped save this the day you submitted it, but took awhile to get around to reviewing it, as is my wont.... so anyway, I enjoy the basic premise of the gameplay... slinging golfballs, tennisballs, baseballs, frisbees... just about anything.... at targets in a sort of driving range/shooting range/batting practice type environment is always fun, provided the engine doesn't completely blow.

I think the control aspect of flinging the frisbee with the mouse cursor works well enough, though it's way too easy to flub a throw and massively underthrow it on your 5th throw, even when throws 1 through 4 were FREAKIN' PERFECT, which is kinda irritating. I also kinda wish there were more target areas, including maybe in the far left and right corners. That'd be nifty.

I think there's only one change I'd really make for sure, though: Make it where you can click ANYwhere on the screen to go to the next throw. Having to click right on the frisbee's kinda... eh. Non-intuitive, I guess. Also, if I were you I'd clear your scoreboards. Either people figured out how to hack the boards or they were exploiting the bugs earlier on in your game's life (i.e. that 5 million point bug someone mentioned about 5 reviews ago). Those issues aside... great stuff!

Score: 10

"Life-giving mental stimulation!!!!!! [705]"

submission: Anicopters: Armageddon

date: April 18, 2008

First off, when I helped saved this flash earlier today.... the flash so impressed me... or so made an impression on me.... one of those... that I had to go and see (and now review) your earlier anicopters flash from 2007. So to me, I didn't find this a "twice as unpleasant experience" as you mention in your comments.

In fact, I can't believe this is the second (and last) one. It had the feel of a really long-standing series... the way you did it.... the character development (or lack thereof)... absolutely awesome. So... it saddens me there's only two. This is up there with BEEBO in terms of making me crave more, man, and BEEBO's my fave thing on NG, so.... that's meant to be high praise. so... on to Anicopters Pt. 2:

"It's time..." Walrus giving Shark a peptalk.... touching, even though it was the first I ever saw either of those two. Robot Ant's communication with bats.... I thought it was a one-off thing. Seeing it not only pop up as the freakin' punchline to the entire... um... plot... but also being his "element" in the first flash... was brilliant.

T-Rex's super-stuffy country club laughter was right out of Caddyshack, man. Great stuff. ROBOT ANT SURE SHOWED HIM.

And finally... enough people have raved about your epic credits already, so... instead of gushing about them as well, I'll just record for posterity the greatness of your commercial breaks:

Uh-Oh Nautilus products:

Injected food shapes in raisin paste
Triple dechlorinated animal rind
Sour gourd extraction with crab simmers
Biological composite spheres
Eight-times edible fiber squeezings
Cultured germination of protein
90% success of banana fats
Plum-vapored death throes of the matriarch
The pelican's wisdom with clam salts

Uh-Oh Nautilus commercial break taglines (AKA pure genius):

"He's a magical pal!"
"Your mother's love and more!"
"Your only true pal!"
"There is no God!"

Score: 8

"Saw this thanks to the sequel! [704]"

submission: Wrath of the Anicopters

date: April 18, 2008

First off... EVIL SEMICONDUCTOR? What an ubervillain...

Secondly... the Anicopters!!! Kitty, sharky, roboanty, and walrus...y. SO CUTE. Only... not so much.

"Oh, Anicopter Shark.... your renegade ways are appealing to the tween demographic." Walrus cracks me up, every time....

Announcing their powers... toooooo much Captain Planet. TOO MUCH. Fortunately it didn't get overwhelming. And the rest of the theme song was so horribly awful it made me forget that part. Trash truck driving away and the final joke about child abuse = epic. What a way to start it. A pity #2's gonna be it, according to you. ;_;

Score: 9

"IT'S MAGIC WITH A K AT THE END [703]"

submission: Not-The-Final Fantasy XII

date: April 18, 2008

PPL... SOYLENT GREEN IZ PPL. I tells you.

Anywho... I want to give you kudos for showing all of the main 6 characters of FF12 doing what they do best. All of them.... fighting.... except for Vaan. Who seems to be clapping off in the corner, far from the huge behemothy beast. DELIGHTFUL.

"Cha-koh-boh"??? LOL! Come on now, making the "second C a K" would clear up that pronunciation confusion HOW exactly? Ironically there is no "co" in Japanese, it's "ko" there anyway.

And ah yes, we return to the central premise of your flash.... yes, Vaan does make it hard to take the game seriously.... Vaan: "YOU BAD BAD MAN, YOU KILLED THE KING!!" hahaha... LOL! oh god, even better: Basch: "My evil twin brother?" Balthier: "Yeah okay, I'll buy that."

And finally... there were indeed an awful lot of wolves in the game, but I can think of sooooo many worse options for "basic enemy" in a FF game, so as long as they were going to be lazy and put a ton of repetitive creatures in... they picked the right one, IMO. Think back to FF1.... Imps... Imps everwhere. Brown imps, green imps, blue imps. You couldn't get away from imps. Now imagine imps in every area of Ivalice in FF12... that woulda gotten old even faster. :::nods::: FF12 is actually in my top 5 fave FFs. Along with 1, 3, 4, and 6. Meaning for me... 12 is the first FF game to be as fun and enjoyable start to finish... as the old NES and SNES ones were, so... for what it's worth.

Score: 10

"Hey dere, Zekester. [702]"

submission: CoCkSpLoSiOn

date: April 18, 2008

It's been a long time since I've reviewed yer flash. TOO LONG.

Was rackin' some saves in teh protal earlier and noticed this little baby further down on the Recent List, which was already well past 200+ votes, alas (well, it WAS submitted in the middle of the freakin' night... come on, man! Do that on the weekend, not Thursday night... pretty please? #;-}>)..... anyway, of course I wasn't gonna pass up a chance to touch base with Ye Olde ZSL and see what's what.

Visual style: intact. Even better detail/animation than you used to have (not that you needed to improve upon it... I miss the old days)

Humour: intact. Great song choice, as always. Crucial. Crucial. World expodes? Check.

Brevity: INCREASED. This was amazingly short and sweet.

That was absolutely epic cocksplosioning, sir. I feel as though a shockwave from that event cascaded around the world, as was kinda... demonstrated therein.... and my own frank 'n' beans are quivering in sympathy for that ugly mofo in your flash due to said shockwave passing through them. WELL DONE, AS ALWAYS.

Score: 10

"Another flash I meant to... [700]"

submission: BrokeClock Mountain

date: April 8, 2008

... review back in August 2007. I made a shortcut to 20 movies from Clock Day 2007 and only reviewed about 15 of them that month, so... this is long overdue, needless to say.

This flash... earned my five both that day AND this.... due to containing the old NG vote "ping." That alone was enough. I can't believe this baby ain't been reviewed in 2008 yet. So here I am to fix that.

But of course there was plenty more to it that's deserving of high marks other than the great PING! First off, I've never actually seen teh BBM movie, so there may be some IN-jokes to the funs here, but no matter, it's enough of a pop culture thing that you don't even need to have seen it to enjoy teh parodies. This movie was probably begging to be made.

Coal and Rupee's wives/gfs/wotevahs' reactions to their SEKRIT ACTIVITIES AND RELATIONSHIP are great. As is the house destruction scene. But why does that strange white bunny clock thing wanna kill Rupee so bad? IS HE TEH HOMOPHOBE?

In short.... Well done! Oh, and I love the movie review you added in. Sure, it's fake. But actual movie studios fake movie reviews in their own trailers ALL THE TIME. So there.

Score: 10

"Been meaning to review this... [699.2]"

submission: Tomas et la Fraise

date: April 8, 2008

... since freakin' Clock Day 2007!

Seriously, I made a shortcut to about 20 flashes that day and I ended up reviewing only around 15 of them in August 2007. I never got around to reviewing the others... but I'm starting now!

Anyway, this one caught my eye because it was a nice relief from the usual ClockDay flashes that day, while still having a STRAWBERRY in it (har har haw haw). Great little musical piece for a flash movie, wonderful wonderful use of colour.... and I really like the "framing" choices... from really effective zooms to nice far shots.... and camera motion, even. You use flash like a director of photography uses the film camera, and that is a... Good Thing (tm).

The purple tree's limbs and huge-ass trunk kinda scareth me, though. Both before AND after it is be-leaf'eded.

Well done!

Score: 8

"A tale of a rab-bot and a hova-fish, eh? [699]"

submission: The Desert Obelisk

date: April 5, 2008

Fascinating storyline! Seriously, it was cute to read a little intro text setting up one of these styles of games. I've played the grow-cube games or whatever they're called, quite a few of them. Sometimes the "role" of each part of the whole makes itself clear immediately, other times it takes quite some time to figure out which things need to be "planted" earlier. But it's always fun to do it wrong, too, and just see what happens.

"This might brighten things up a bit!"

I love the purple viney bit best. That thing IS creepy, like one of them said. And yet... it yields a happy ending for our two strange creature-friends. Huzzah! Fun game for its kind, but I sometimes wish this genre was a bit less limiting, a bit more.... 3-dimensional. Adding things in, and having to get the right order is all good and well... but what if you had to choose WHERE to add things, or you could alter the "stage" itself, like it was a 9-square puzzle, you know the ones where one square is missing and you have to move the others around to get them lined up right? I dunno, I'd just like to see someone do something REALLY different with the genre someday. Someday.

Score: 9

"Spida-man ain't got nothin' on this Spidy [698]"

submission: Mighty Spidy

date: April 5, 2008

You go, Mighty Spidy!

This is one fun game, with gameplay comin' out the wazoo. You got the web-slinging, swinging physics "feel" down PAT, and if that wasn't good enough, I really like the mouseover-controlled left and right counter movement and windowpane-crawling up/down/left/right movement. They complement the aerial fun quite well.

The timer adds replay value, since you can always go back to simple ol' stage 1 and try to get those flies a bit faster.

But just flinging your spider alter ego around through the kitchen air... it's splendid.

How do I shot web? BY PLAYING MIGHTY SPIDY, OF COURSE.

Feel free to use that as a tagline for the game. (wink)