Score: 10

"Speaking as someone who wants Orange Box... [687]"

submission: The Orange Flash Box

date: April 3, 2008

This flash was too good to pass up. The fact that I've already been spoiled on Portal time and time again.... was the deciding blow. Anywho... excellent video, sound fx, dialogue editing.... all that good stuff. Paris Hilton headshot? Hot indeed. And that's just the start.

Hahahah. Halo/Gordon Rocks/Sucks taggers... running back and forth. You know, I've never played a FPS where "tagging" was even an option. I'm so behind the times. Quake 2 and the original Half-Life... plus System Shock 2 and Oni... are about where my desktop computer left off, due to obsolescence.

Human breathing holes! You will enjoy it! Heheheh. But why the BLEEPing censorship? That blows. ;_;

"Well, I'm period'ing right now." Hahaha... glad I watched the deleted scene. Delicious.

Score: 9

"Japanese people! OH MY GOD! [686]"

submission: Wii Are Sold Out

date: April 3, 2008

Heh. Showing up at houses randomly... we would like to be playing.... flailing arms around.... leads inevitably to... DO YOU HAS ANY WII IN STOCK?

Oh.... NOE. Those are some extreme freakin' ANGARY eyebrows on the video game store employee's face. Absolutely awesome. Plenty of 360s and PS3s on the shelf right behind him, eh?

Anyway, without even having read your author comments prior to reviewing, I knew you were a retail worker. However, as a consumer, let me give you the alternate perspective here (most consumers aren't used to having to do SO MUCH WORKS to get their desired product, yanno.... unless they're beanie baby fans from back in the day, I guess): I started trying to get a Wii for myself and my gf back in April 2007, and one weekend my local Best Buy had some in stock, but I arrived too late that Sunday (by about 20 minutes, it appeared, from the line of people getting their Wii still). Fair enough. I kept asking through the next few months, when I would come and shop and PURCHASE other items (I spend a looooot of money at that Best Buy) when they expected to have more Wii in stock. I never got a straight answer for awhile, finally in August they gave me another specific date, a Sunday a couple weeks from then. I arrived that Sunday, and it turns out the Wii supply had been sold out the day before, on a Saturday. So.... yeah. That kinda blew that TWO separate people at the store had told me the wrong day.

I ended up finding (and buying) the last two Wii in stock at a nearby Target two weeks later, gave the other one to my parents. And I've been playing it every single day since the end of August 2007, for over half a year now. THE END. Happy ending FTW!

Long may Wii play.

Score: 9

"I've been playing GH since last August.... [685]"

submission: -Guitar-Zero-

date: April 3, 2008

Got all the PS2 GHs back then, and then GH3 last October when it came out... so you can call me a Guitar Zero, too. #;-}> And.... Prayer of the Refugee was a song I didn't know at ALL before GH3, and it's one of about 8 bonus songs that I really enjoy now, so good song choice, first off.

I can't believe you drew this entire flash with a mouse, no tablet-use at all. I got my gf, who likes to draw and sketch, a tablet for Christmas last year, and the difference between the two input devices is so great... in any event, I love your buildings and walls and furniture especially. You put so much subtle texture into your simple-coloured backgrounds. The little fantasy of getting sucked into the game experience is well done, too... suddenly, there is colour. Mostly dark speakers and stage, but a vast contrast to the bleached-out, white-washed boring ol' regular world.

And my god... he's got to play a GH guitar with just THREE FINGERS? I don't care what he scored on that track, that's impressive. As weak as our pinkies are, GH on Hard/Expert is so much easier with four fingers than with three, so... well done, sir. #;-}>

Score: 8

"Hilariously-good timing there, IWP."

submission: : New Used :

date: April 3, 2008

My gf just bought the original Phoenix Wright DS game used (plus game 3 and game 4 new) from a local game store that sells both new and used games last weekend.... and unfortunately, even though it's a CARTRIDGE game, not a CD/DVD-disc based game.... apparently used cartridges can have their share of problems as well (before this, we'd only ever bought used PS1, PS2, and Dreamcast games).

In any event, she played it for 1.5 hours, and then it crapped out and crashed. She had further issues with it, and had to return it for a cash refund (fortunately this store's decent about that). She found game #1 and #2 on Amazon, so she's waiting for them to get shipped to her before she starts playing the game series.

Bottom line... unless a used game A) is very cheap compared to the new game, B) has intact box/case and manual.... and C) is functioning 100%... BUY THE NEW GAME. And if the new game costs too much... WAIT A YEAR OR TWO till the price comes down. Works every time.

Score: 10

"PaperDS... what a concept!"

submission: Home Made DS

date: April 3, 2008

What a great idea for a flash. And what a great idea for a Nintendo Paper Mario advertisement. You should really work at Nintendo's ad agency. #;-}>

As cool as watching you draw out a DS on a simple rectangle of paper that can then be folded in half to simulate a real DS Lite was.... seeing level 1-1 of the original Super Mario Bros fly by as you "played" your new paper DS Lite was better still.

One question: Why did you just run straight through the level? You didn't have Mario bump even ONE ?-mark block to get a nice mushroom or coin or... anything!

Another question, now that I think of it: How on earth did you get Mario to do super-gymnastic twirls and vaults during his jumping around towards the end of the level? I've played the original SMB many many times... and never seen ANYthing quite like that. Stunning, man. Stunning. #;-}> Great great work!

Score: 8

"Bomberman FTW! [682]"

submission: Fire and Bombs

date: April 3, 2008

This a really enjoyable Bomberman-esque game. I think maybe a little more variation in terms of the colours of the brick walls, the brick walkways, and the crates would be welcome, but the character colours and bomb effects and so forth are all great. I think my only gameplay critiques would be the following:

1) it'd be nice if the up/down/left/right movements had to be "per square." That is, a single press of one of the direction keys would move you all the way into the next square. That way, you couldn't hang partway in one square and partway in another. This relates to the next one:

2) I think the bomb "cloud" should disperse a bit faster. I see others have made this comment as well... There's so many times the bomb cloud is fading away and it's almost gone, but due to the movement issue I mention in #1 (I'm moving forward in a side alley trying to get right NEXT to the explosion, but not on top of it... and due to the bit-by-bit movement, instead of square-by-square movement, I end up going too far, and touching the very edge of a cloud RIGHT before it would be safe.... boom, insta-death, same as if you're on top of the bomb when it explodes. #;-}>

Also, it's weird how the enemy's AI is so overly-cautious. But that's more of a subjective thing. I really think that if 1 and/or 2 was a bit improved, this would be the best Bomberman flash EVAR. Great job!

Score: 10

"#;-}> [681]"

submission: A Weird Day at College

date: April 2, 2008

LOL! "Don't return my fucking money!" Better to have your money returned... than eaten by the machine for nothing, right? #;-}> Oh well.

NOOO, AFROSTAR! Squish. Hahah. "Hey. I just killed him." What a revelation. How deep of you to have noticed that. Heh.

Yay, News Reporter! He doesn't seem to think it's interesting that Afro's dead thanks to Bahamut. Why does Satan go to your college, BTW? Tom Fulp awards you a shitload of money for being bigger than the Beatles and Star Wars... wow. And... oh... M.... G. Is that my gfox smiley on the hilltop of Bahamut's dream? I'm honoured to be included in one of your best flashes ever. Thanks, dude. :::tips cap:::

And there ya have it, dude. 15 reviews from yours truly... to you. Can I plz has responseburger? #;-}>

Score: 9

"The real question here is... [680]"

submission: Happy Censorship Day!

date: April 2, 2008

Why on earth does teh Bertn self-censor himself so egregiously?

But anywho, I remember all the hullabaloo about Censorship Day on Wi/Ht? back a coupla months ago, so.... I certainly saw the similarity between your earlier flash with the bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeping remote and that event. Now here's the actual Censorship Day flash. But this time, instead of loud beeps, the remote is more of a "univeral translator," ST:TNG style.... only just for curse words. Greatness. Truck has never been said this much... outside of a truck commercial!

Those words thank you. They thank you from the bottom of their heart. And my ears thank you... for not injuring them like last time you (er... AfroStar) subjected me (er... us) to the censorship remote.

Score: 7

"It's the most wonderful tiiime.. of the year [679]"

submission: Ah - It's Halloween

date: April 2, 2008

Whoa. Halloween background + some music to go with the intro logo for once, eh wot?

Hahah. Awesome Bahamut jack-o-lantern. TRICK-OR-TREATERS. I've seen this one, BTW, I recognise this plotline. Heh. STICK 'EM UP. Pink Lover, eh? Oh my. Why on earth would a kid want to dress up as Graham? Why on earth would another kid dress up as AfroStar... yet call him "Pink Lover." I don't get it. My brain go bye-bye now. Thankoo.

Also... asshole, arsehole, it's all the same to your butt.

Score: 8

"Free Dr. Pepper, you say? [678]"

submission: A Free Dr. Pepper Bottle!

date: April 2, 2008

Consider that free Dr. Pepper bottle a gift to you from my great state of Texas. Dr. Pepper is our gift to the world. Screw Graham and his 1 pound note. EAT IT, GRAHAM.

Whoa. Animated Kefka on a bulletin board? TRIPPY, man. Trippy indeed. Really, though, aside from Kefka+Cheesecake, the highlight of this one was Bahamut's panicked and stunned reaction to the free bottle... the long pause... and then teh teheheheheheeh moments. But... worst student of 2006/2007 = Bahamut? That's not right! That can't possibly be right. ;_;